Dreams.

They say that dreams are like your sub-concious.

I think it means that,

Whatever that is bothering you,

Will appear in your dreams

Differently,

But the same situation.

These days,

I start to fear of losing friends.

Or as like my recent blog posts,

Afraid of how people treat me as a friend,

And how i got hurt in the process..

And so that was whats bothering me...

That's how it lead to my dreams.

I keep dreaming of me and how people treat me,

And what happens after that.

I dreamt this a few nights ago:

We were all in class,

Writing essays.

The usual noisiness of the class.

Fade face images.

I was asking a question to someone,

The person looked at me,

Like I was weird in some way,
Shake her head in pity,
And looked back,

Like nothing happen.

I wasn't about to give up.

So i kept calling.

I din't realise i was already shouting.

But everybody went along,

Doing their things,

Like nothing is happening.

Then,

I realise I'm standing behind a glass door,

Shouting,
Banging hard,

Hoping that someone would hear me.

I shouted till my voice was a mere squeak.

Tears rolling down on my face.
I shouted with all I had left,

Anger,

Pain,

I shouted,

although knowing that no one would hear me:

" Why is no one listening to me?!! ''

" What have I done, to deserve this?!"

Then,

The glass door turned into a mirror.

As I looked at myself,

Face red from all the anger and the crying,

Hands bleeding from banging the glass too hard.

I looked at myself,
Saw what has the world done to me.
Even I would pity myself,
Of how stupid I am,
Of how unlucky I am,
Of my fate.
Then I woke up,

With fresh tears rolling down my cheeks.

To find that my hands were clenched into fists,

Too tight.

When I opened them,

They were numb.

Just like my feelings will be.

Kinda weird and freaky huh?

Yeah, that's me.

Nahh, kidding..

But seriously.